
ah camping. great for fresh air, simple living, and being at one with nature.
we were on the isle of skye in a lovely place called sligachan, with some dramatic mountain scenery, and a lovely little loch nearby. it was a fairly quiet little campsite, just us and a few other tents, a couple, a family and one woman with a fly net on. we chuckled at her extreme attire, wondering why some people camp with so much paraphernalia.
we had a nice meal in the local pub and i trotted off to the shower to be nice and fresh for the next days adventures.
and then they ambushed me. i was set upon by swarm of angry insects, known as 'midges'. i ran quickly back to the tent, undid the zip and jumped in, frantically trying to close the door behind me. troy asked ' didnt you even try to lose them?' pointing to the swarm which had accompanied me, now buzzing all around inside the tent ceiling. 'you're supposed to run around in circles, and
then get in' he said, as if this was common knowledge.
we spent the next hour of fading light hunting them down one by one and squishing them between our fingers. they're small little bastards, about the size of those little fruit flies, but far more vicious. troy got badly bitten:

and spent the next several days complaining about it. i recommended we stop at a chemist and get some anti-itch cream but he's a man of course, so wouldnt hear of such a thing. instead he plotted elaborate schemes to avoid them, took all of his meals sitting in the car, and insisted i set up and take down the tent because they didnt seem to like me as much. i eventually got him some repellant, what works best isn't your normal aerogard type thing but this avon moisturiser called skin-so-soft, which i picked up at a local service station.
troy smothered himself nightly and his face and hands in particular became luxuriously soft and supple. nothing like a camping trip for that extra bit of pampering every man needs.